Dangerously Transparent

Not until the wee hours of yesterday morning, did I finally force myself to LOOK at what happened in Christchurch. I knew it was horrific and I just didn’t want to deal with it. I haven’t stopped crying since.  Other missionaries will comprehend and appreciate this statement-when GOD sends you to another country-HE makes it HOME.  You have a genuine LOVE and attachment for that place and you know that HE supernaturally placed those feelings in your heart. You miss America while you’re there-you never STOP missing your country-but you do love where you are and you’re content to be there.

Christchurch was the city where we lived the longest while we were in New Zealand. Our foster sons went to grade school at one of the community schools, our daughter finished high school and our son graduated from University there.  We went on field trips with Aaron and Walt, went to Jena’s rugby, volleyball & soccer games around the city.  Jena got her first car in New Zealand & since she learned to drive on the left side of the road- she says the wrong side IS the RIGHT side.

One of Joshua’s favorite bands is a kiwi group called ELEMENOP; he was stalked by a man for several weeks in a local mall where he worked-a FAVORITE inside family joke. We hiked the bush trails, swam and fished at the beaches, played in the parks, had cafes that we frequented on Sundays after church. It was where we lived the middle years of the MORGAN family life; no, it wasn’t always perfect and we had our share of ups and downs, but it was home and to see it lying in ruins and filled with death is gut wrenching.

Since both kids went to school in the downtown area, it would NOT have been uncommon for one of them to have been climbing the spiral tower of the Cathedral that came down and entombed several. There’s something surreal about people people climbing to the top of a church bell tower when a massive earthquake hits…

Rebuilding CHRISTCHURCH is mind boggling-the city where we lived is no more. It means a lot to have had so many people send emails or call to extend their well wishes..it makes the hurt feel better, knowing that people here understand that we also had-a life there. It’s a wee bit soon to predict, but don’t be surprised to hear that Chip and Lis are returning to New Zealand- the truth is, those who’ve seen our hearts since we returned, know that- deep down-we never really left anyway.

Yesterday my Chipper received a call from a nice gentleman inviting him to be the guest speaker for their church this weekend. I gotta tell you-it was a happy time around our house for those few minutes. When your world revolves around what goes on at the church-it’s hard to just leave it behind.

People don’t fully grasp our zeal-our passion- even a little obsession. Pastors and most of the time their wives want things perfect when our family arrives at the house. It’s kind of like how you feel when blood family comes to your place for a special occasion or simple visit. That’s how we desire our church to be for the family whenever we get together.

When we visit another church-it’s a bit different than when a non pastor’s family visits. It’s not that we can’t enjoy worshiping with another family, it’s just that most of us have moved away from our blood families and have to give up all the normal times that we’d spend with them if we lived closer. We don’t go home for Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and most holidays until after they’re over. When we leave our church-we leave our family-the ones who we spend most of our time with all during the year.

If our church is doing what it’s supposed to be doing, the visitors won’t feel like outsiders-but, we can’t berate ourselves because we LOVE our family and are happy to get together with them for worship and fellowship every week. I tell you what, if church is a dread for the regular family-we’ve got a major problem!

I’m ready to join the church family waiting for us and I hope that they’re as excited about us coming as we are about getting there. I pray that we won’t overwhelm them too quickly with our endless ideas and dreams. My Chipper and I are known for different things, some better than others-but, you certainly won’t hear it said that we’re lazy! We thrive on keeping the body healthy and happy. Our previous church families for the most part anyway welcomed us, learned to love who and what we are and made us feel like a part of them with little effort. I anticipate that happening again.

While I appreciate the kindness at several of the local churches where we’ve been visiting-they aren’t our church. Take my advice and know that it comes from a heart that understands the loneliness of not being with a church family. When you gather with yours this week, overlook the small, petty things that irk you and be grateful for the place that GOD’S given you to grow. Hug more necks, shake more hands, spend more time letting your brothers and sisters know how happy you are to be churchmates with them. Focus on what makes you happy to be a member of your church.

Be thankful that you’re not the stranger in the house-but-remember how those who don’t belong feel. The ONLY way the church can grow is if those who aren’t a part of your family-believe that you really do want them there and are willing to do whatever it takes to make room in the pews.

After all-there really is no place like home.

I’m a product of the sixties-LSD-LOVE, SEX, DOPE. Shasta-I was born to be GROOVY and Patti, I can still bust a move! Between the hippies and Beatles-preachers honestly believed that their influences would lead the blind astray and cause moral, upright citizens to lose their religion-and to some extent, they were right. They handled it the way they thought was best-preaching HELL, FIRE and BRIMSTONE, a lot of it.

I’m a preacher’s kid and nobody could be more proud of their heritage than me-the BIBLE’S full of prophets warning sinful people to change their ways or face the wrath of ALMIGHTY GOD so I’m not disputing the WORD; if you read my posts, you’ll find that I do a fair amount of prophesying myself..please don’t misinterpret my words. I take the BIBLE word for word-I believe it gives CLEAR cut answers about a majority of sins-you won’t find me EVER endorsing any way into HEAVEN but the ONLY way-CHRIST. I’m not into passing out SHOT glasses instead of gospel tracts to bring people to JESUS simply because it’s WAY cool, so let’s do it. Again, I beg you not to misunderstand what I’m trying to get across here.

I just believe that we’ve LOST contact with the REAL world; I’m concerned, saddened, desperate to remind you and me-GOD never told us to form this exclusive club where nobody is welcomed to sit down among us-unless they’re exactly like we are. CHRISTIANS are to be peculiar people, but, I’ve got an arsenal of WORD up that disputes how we use that verse to support a church family ONLY fellowship club.

If we follow the way JESUS did it-we’ll save tongue lashings for hypocrites who claim HIS name and remain wicked. I challenge you to find any place where our LORD deliberately shuns or mistreats a sinner. On the other hand, search out how many self sanctified religious hypocrites HE called out IN PUBLIC.

What is it about certain sins that cause our mouths to water and set our tongues to wagging? I don’t condone SIN-though much of what I say seems to be taken as that. Through the years my Chipper and I have received many warnings about our tolerance for those living in sin. It hurts my heart to be scolded because I associate with people who haven’t found perfection yet. I’m conflicted by that-I guess because I know that I’m far from perfect myself.

I don’t want to forget that there’s also a verse instructing me to remove that gigantic tree trunk from MY eye before I start gouging in someone else’s for a splinter. Why does it draw so much criticism from fellow believers when they see one of us showing love and grace to somebody-before we start pointing out all the ugly on them? That DOES NOT mean that we’re giving our approval-you ask about anybody who knows me and they’ll confirm that I TELL IT LIKE IT IS-but, I’m aware that it’s nauseating to be in the company of holier than thou people with their noses in the clouds.

I do not CONDONE sin-what I CONDEMN is the way that we seem to pick & choose what sins and whose sins are worst than others. As I study CHRIST more and more, I’m struck at how much more patience HE displayed with sinners than with so called saints. HE didn’t avoid the woman at the well, but went out of HIS way, literally, to be nice to her, yet the pious behavior of the Pharisees irked HIM so very rapidly. The church should take a hint from the MASTER HIMSELF.

Being real with people doesn’t make me a failure-backslider-sellout-or flunky CHRISTIAN. I just can’t apologize for choosing to open up the blinds of my life and allow the world to see who I am-flaws and all. It is tough having people (especially those closest to me) question my relationship with CHRIST because I have friends on facebook who are gay or I’m at the mall with somebody who uses a curse word or having dinner with someone who orders gin & tonic instead of water with lemon.

It’s hard for me because I REALLY struggle with peer pressure. Just tonight I battled what will people think about a dilemma that I found myself in. You see, by nature-I’m a people pleaser and to my shame-I have the tendency to cower back inside the clubhouse with the rest of the clones when I’m faced with the possibility of damaging my testimony if I step outside of the holy circle.

I picture Peter and Paul’s chat about doing one thing in one place while refraining in another something like this. When Paul offered his advice to Peter-I wonder if Peter asked sarcastically-Dare I remind you that you say to be all things to all people, brother?  How is what I’m doing any different than what you do? What’s the line of being real and being fake?

So-I thought to myself–how can I be PECULIAR-if I’m just like everybody else? Now there’s a spin-