DISCLAIMER: Lis Morgan can’t be held liable if language is offensive!

Michael Vick Should’ve Been Here Today!

Posted: November 13, 2010 http://www.chipmorgan.org

Well, today was THE day!  That long anticipated match took place and the only true ringside seat was held by the chihuahua, (must be said with a Latin accent) “DESMOND – The GREAT Squirt”.  Lis and I have held different views on this one, and if I hadn’t won, I wouldn’t be sharing the story.

We have 3 purebreds and one mutt.  Desmond is the instigator of whatever trouble may be happening at the time, we should’ve named him Barney Fife, but, you must cut him a break (there’s a female Lassie, female Boxer & female German Shepherd/Husky mix). Once again with the accent,  “All da women here are SOOO BIG!” Between that and his neuter job…he’s been forced to find different ways to prove his manhood.

Bindi Sue, is content to climb high mountains and seek out orphan children in dire straits to lovingly rescue out of cliffhanger predicaments (a true Lassie).  She and Bristol, the mutt, who’s extremely lovable (Bindi’s influence rubs off) live together in the barn paddock, 2 acres where the fence is reinforced with chicken wire. There is NO POSSIBLE escape (so we think) and they’re content because they’ve been friends a long time.

The new kid on the block as of 6 months ago is Cassie, the ferocious BOXER, (sort of the Ivan Drago type).  She’s no doubt the smartest one (that is most of the time). Lassie is Lassie, but the other two are ALPHA females, and they’ve vied for QUEEN ALPHA status since they first sniffed each other. I forgot to mention that Cassie came here to stay out in the yard..but somehow made her way into the house half the time once Darcy, the original QUEEN ALPHA, moved out with Jena.

The good side – we have no salesman, or random visitors, (matter of fact as I write this, I promise, I had to go rescue a couple of Jehovah Witnesses who came to talk about contentment & happiness. They were just content getting back to their car. The first words the guy said to me were, Thanks for saving our lives!

There has been a fight brewing between Cassie and Bristol, who live on the other side of the fence from one another, for months. Enter Desmond, if the cows are in the closest pasture, it’s Desmond’s idea to chase cows.  If there are no cows, he gets all hyped up about a possible cat fight (well actually girl dogs). He ags it on and plays Mr. “I DON’T KNOW why these two senoritas do dis! It must be me…Don Juan!!!”

Lis has always said about the boxer, “She’d kill her (Bristol)!”  I’ve said, “Don’t underestimate the power of a mutt..Bristol could hold her own!” There have been major televised “press conferences” where they both meet at the fence and trash talk each other and do the ol’ lunge thing, but, they know the fence is there.  I’ve always said, “NOPE…Bristol’s got that “eye of the tiger” (cue the Rocky music)!

At the end of the last face-off, Bristol must’ve confided in Bindi Sue, “I’m bout good and sick of that @#&%!”  RELAX…she said it, not ME, & THEY can say that! “Next time she comes down here…(well just come here a minute and let me show you)…THIS is where I’m busting out and “BABY..IT IS GONNA BE ON THEN!!!”  “I WILL CUT HER!”

Well, TODAY, I won the bet!!!

Desmond led Cassie to the fence and Bristol barked with a confident attitude, “You best BACK up OFF me & get outta my face, DAWG!”  Well, she didn’t. Bristol ran to the escape hatch (while Bindi was running in slow motion, hair blowing in the wind, “I MUST…SAVE THE DAY” then she stopped “on second thought … nahTHIS has got to be good!”)

I just finished cleaning a lot of slobber off of Bristol..the bad news..I’ve just finished figuring out where the blood COVERING Cassie’s face.. especially her right eye, originated. The boxer must have taken a cut over the eye, lost her confidence, and panicked…because she was screaming – “Throw in the towel, throw in the towel” – while Lis and I rushed to break it up.

I felt so sorry for Cassie.  Lis and I took her into the locker room and patched her up and gave her a good talking to about REAL LIFE. Just because you are a purebred, doesn’t mean you can necessarily back up ALL of your trash talk.  Girl, you’ve got to LEARN YOUR LIMITS..and never pick a fight that you are not 100% sure you can win.

I had to go out and wipe the slobber off of Bristol.  And I DID whisper, “Good girl, you stand up for yourself and don’t let “BIG BERTHA” think she rules this roost.  Sometimes you just gotta DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO!!!

The last word that was uttered…from Desi…”Senoritas, senoritas, there’s still plenty enough of me to go around…for everybody”.

OH SHUT UP DESI…you started this.

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