wHy do people cAre what i tHink

Last night my Chipper and I had a lonng talk about where we’ve been and where it seems that we’re heading. We’ve been in limbo many times throughout our married life, but, never with this magnitude of uncertainty. Our hearts are at a place of abandoned surrender and yet-we’ve turned down the opportunity to potentially pastor two churches. We’ve been at this a long time and we’ve learned how vitally important it is to WAIT on the LORD-to LISTEN for HIS instructions. As ready as we are to hear PROCEED-we know that HE has not spoken those words.

I’m an impatient girl by human nature-so my spiritual twin has been working overtime-We AREN’T moving until our FATHER says GO so whatever you need to do to stay put until then, do it. By human nature, I’m also stubborn and strong willed, thus my spiritual twin must keep reminding me-you DECREASE so that HE can increase.

As Chipper and I chatted, we marveled and moaned at how much it has taken out of us, physically, mentally and quite honestly, spiritually. CHRISTIANS do struggle spiritually-even when we aren’t backsliding. Look no further than JESUS in the garden of Gethsemane. I love the imagery of a PERFECT SAVIOR sweating blood tears. The human side of CHRIST didn’t want to go through the horrible ordeal of Crucifixion-in allowing us to watch HIM prepare for something that HIS human side DID NOT WANT TO DO, I find amazing comfort knowing that HE understands how I feel when my back is pushed hard against the wall. HE experienced it firsthand-in the most unimaginable way. Can you comprehend agony that intense? I can’t.

I was telling my Chipper that I was considering ending my blog. When I agreed to chronicle last year’s journey-I knew that it’d take a toll on me to relive it daily. My entries start out at twice the words that you read-I type like I talk-A LOT and to be sure that I was writing only the GOD led words, I spent 8-10 hours a day not only writing, but checking our files to make sure that what I reported was accurate and factual. Then there were all of the emails and comments to answer. Oh, please don’t stop leaving the comments or sending emails. You have NO idea how much inspiration your words have been to all of us!

But, I’ve been wondering for a few weeks now if the time has come for me to go back to the books, songs, ladies conference topics-all the stuff that kept my pen moving before the blog took off and took over my time!

Chipper said that it was my decision-although he felt that it was a mistake to quit when I’ve just begun scratching the surface of blog success. He emphasized how many people read an average blog and how many regularly read mine. He reminded me about several who especially benefited from my “transparency”.  My husband knows that I can be convinced to do most anything if you show me the money-prove that it works & I’ll keep at it-an annoying, facet of my perfectionist personality if I’m honest. The man gazed into my eyes and declared that I was all about the SUNRISE, not the sunset...gag

Yesterday, I had the highest number of hits since Dangerously Transparent began. Traffic for Lori’s Story was significant enough to prompt an internet retailer to place an ad underneath the post without asking! A Christian Clothing Company-who I assume saw my sisters’ pictures and wanted to sign them up for business or modeling.

“Spare me the dramatics and the sales pitch, too”, I advised… and then went on to explain to him that it’s a very daunting endeavor to be so personal and transparent. The cruel truth is, faking it is waay easier and you get waaay less criticism. And besides, I added with an exaggerated, poor, pitiful, little ol’ me-Penelope PitStop-sigh– why do people care what I think?

He answered-Honestly? I think one thing that makes your blog work is that-you’re true to yourself-you’re chaotic and all over the place about everything from whining women to wind chimes; people don’t know what to expect-your titles don’t really give a clue what your posts are about so people are compelled to read the whole thing. Like, where did ETHEL KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT come from? Nobody I know thinks the wacky way you do! I listen to what you have to say-whether I agree with you or not.

MEN-they’ve always got to show off their manhood just a little don’t they?!

Have you ever wondered that? Why do people care what you think? I’m not being sarcastic-why do people who live outside of my house-give a second thought to what I say, think or do?

I guess-for the same reasons I found myself looking at Jessica Simpson’s photos last night during President O’Bama’s uh-speech. Jess’s boyfriend was trying to get her to their car unnoticed. Why did I care what explanations her peeps offered-the picture spoke the truth-she wasn’t tired, stressed out from too much work or disoriented because of her cold medications; the poor girl was dead dog drunk. It BROKE my heart to see this beautiful and incredibly gifted, young woman in such a disheveled condition.

Throw stones-that’s what we CHRISTIANS do best. When I looked at those horribly unflattering shots, they literally brought tears to my eyes. It was like her eyes looked straight at me (as straight as she could look anyway). I saw a plea for my prayers-not my haha’s, she’s trailer trash, has been, washed up, fat and all of the other stuff that’s said about her. She’s got a double strike against her. Her dad was a youth pastor- I don’t feel sorry for her-she should KNOW better.

Maybe she should but maybe she doesn’t. And, even if she does know better, I know better than to make some of the choices that I make as well..I hope that you’re honest enough to admit that you’re not perfect, either. I don’t want to be naive-NON-CHRISTIANS do care what I think-and if I’d stop worrying about what the I will not be spotted by the world CHRISTIANS in my circle think-I’d be more prone to THINK and ACT like JESUS.

If my JESUS had been standing outside that bar when Jessica stumbled out, I know one thing-he would not have STOOD by and done nothing. He would not have laughed at her, called her names, or made her feel like dirt under his feet. MY CHRIST would’ve shown compassion to someone who obviously needed it. HE would’ve put HIS hand over the camera lens and told those stone throwers to GET LOST. That’s the CHRIST I serve-that’s THE ONE I want to pattern my actions behind.

Some of our dearest friends, Larry and Sandra Kelly, from Denham Springs, La., have a ministry at Angola Prison-I’m motivated by their desire to mingle among thieves, drug users & dealers, rapists, murderers, pedophiles and prostitutes-the Kelly’s are carrying JESUS where many of us CHRISTIANS will not go.

Granted, not all of us are called, like Larry and Sandra are-to go into such a place, but-that doesn’t eliminate the responsibility of finding where GOD does expect us to share HIM.  How will THEY know unless we tell them? From the girl next door JESSICA-to the mass murdering BUNDY. Do you hear what I’m saying?

So, I came to the conclusion that maybe it’s not time to put the blog to rest. If I’ve prompted even a few to rethink that good ol’ boy mentality of what going to church is all about and challenged the authority of those in leadership who have no business being there, this blog has been more successful than I realize.

Pointing fingers and turning up our noses is NOT bringing people to JESUS-it’s pushing them closer towards hell. I’m determined to to look at and respond to MY world with HIS eyes by staying in THE WORD to ensure that what I think is reflective of what CHRIST thinks- not,what the Christians, think. Now there’s something monumental for me to think about.

  Brandon Heath’s GIVE ME YOUR EYES

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Nette
    Jan 26, 2011 @ 15:08:04

    You have blessed so many by your blog and who knows….the seeds that you are planting today may bring about a greater harvest than you could ever imagine. Your words are touching far more people than those limited numbers who may choose to walk through the doors of a church. Our world is thirsty for real/authentic truth-filled examples of what it means to be an authentic Christian. You sincerity (and transparency) are a gift that many in the world are waiting with anticipation to open up. I believe that people were and still are drawn to Christ because HE, was, is, and always will be the REAL DEAL!!! Don’t let anything snuff out that light!


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