do I reALLy maTTer aT aLL?

Yesterday afternoon I went into my office, grabbed a couple of my oldest, used up study Bibles, my scripture memory binder and a few of my journals and retreated to my bedroom for some impromptu-but seriously urgent me time. Not a bubble bath, paint your nails, facial-pampering kind of me time..this was more of a rescue mission. I got knocked around by the enemy at an ungodly hour yesterday for real. Literally speaking, the moon hadn’t turned in for the day & the sun wasn’t dressed and if somebody would quit borrowing my rechargeable camera batteries for their Wii remote, I could prove it to you! Actually it began beautifully..those rare mornings when both the moon and the sun are in the sky fascinate you even imagine just how expansive the HEAVENS must be for those guys to reside together up there with so much distance between them? Those awe inspiring photos were to be the premise of my blog-the photos of both light and darkness residing in the same space. CLEVER aye?

BUT-lucifer and his puny imps decided to railroad my spiritual thought process and when I went for the camera, they made their move.  And, though I hate to admit it-they succeeded-temporarily. It was all I could do NOT to barge into the bedrooms of the other two occupants of our home (who will remain unnamed to protect their privacy) and scream-WHY do you keep removing my batteries! We go to Walmart  five days out of seven-does it ever occur to you guys to pick up some spare batteries? UGHH! I guess I really should give myself kudos for refraining from that kind of immature behavior. Still, when you get irked before the day begins, it can’t be good..for anybody!

When the other residents of my house got up-the choice of how their day would begin was in my hand-what to do..what to do..start their day off negatively-or keep my mouth shut & let it go. I’m proud to say that I allowed them to eat their fruity pebbles in peace.

I realized that some days I just wake up NICER than I do others. Do you identify with that? When I say that I escaped to my room for some me time-it was to repair my mindset-and for me, that’s usually done by looking back over my life and seeing that I count-I am worth something, even when I don’t feel like I am. My stronghold is that I often have a negative self image; I struggle with seeing myself as a valuable part of LIFE-I told you in yesterday’s blog that I’m a joy chaser-I’m always trying to reach some goal. I do that because when I’m feeling down about me and who I am, it’s branded in my mind that if I could just be a little better or a little more likeable or a little more pleasing or a little bit smarter or prettier or…I really can be my own worst enemy.

I’ve found out, however, that if I can get my mind back on GOD’S view of me-if I can look and see that HE has used me in the past, is using me now and will no doubt continue to use me for HIS purposes, then I’m less likely to have a major setback. This is the deal-it’s imperative for me to keep GOD as my point of reference-because if left up to me, I don’t see much worth salvaging.

Usually, God will remind me this-Whatever you’re doing, do it for my glory. 1 Corinthians 10:31 See, I just feel like I don’t do enough for HIM or anyone else-especially lately. BUT, HE whispers this-the things that you are doing-are you doing them well? How are you taking care of Chipper? What about Tammy? Are your taking care of your children? How about the new in-law kids? Do they know how happy you are to have them as part of your family? What about the birds flocking to your yard? Are you keeping them fed? The family that came to your home this week? Did you treat them kindly, make them feel at ease?

God wanted me to understand that not everything I do has to be a big thing-HE notices the smallest acts as well. HE delights in how I nurture other members of HIS creation-from the birds to my flesh and blood. HE says-I want you to do EVERYTHING as if you’re doing it for me..because…you are.

God is every bit as concerned about WHY I do what I do as HE is WHAT I do-especially when it comes to how I interact with others. I think what I’m understanding more than ever before is that it doesn’t matter where I’m living or what I’m doing, my top priority is to do everything in a way that makes HIM smile. To do that, I have to believe in me & who I am BECAUSE of HIM. My FATHER cares more about me honoring HIM in what I’m doing NOW than some great accolade that I think I need to achieve to make HIM proud.

So then I read: 1 Corinthians 15:58  Be strong and immovable, my dear brothers and sisters, always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

Combing through my old Bibles and journals, I saw a familiar pattern-I feel worthless a lot-but, somehow, HIS WORD always brings me back to this..if I am loving HIM and loving HIS creations, working for HIM, keeping my focus on HIM, walking with HIM and if I’m truly doing everything I do as if FOR HIM-I am successful in HIS eyes and HE has and will continue to accomplish HIS purposes for me through me! HE FAVORS ME! 😀

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Harriett
    Mar 24, 2011 @ 13:13:37

    Perfect timing……..I really needed that. 🙂


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